There oughta be a word...

...for nieces and nephews collectively. Mothers and fathers = parents. Brothers and sisters = siblings. Grandma and Grandpa = grandparents. Come to think of it, aunts and uncles need a word, too. Why the rest of the collective extended family is cheated out of brevity and ease, I don't know. Other languages probably have such words, but I took Latin in high school and it doesn't get me too far now that I've taken my fair share of SATs.

Let's think of a word and start using it in everyday conversation, k?

Teas' Tea Review: Rose Green flavor

"Get some green tea at lunch today," my headache-y brain says.
"The caffeine will help," it says.
"Ooh, get the one with rose petals. That will be nice," it says.

So I did, and now my noontime beverage tastes like licking an old lady's neck, but it's less in my mouth and more in my nose. Licking an old lady's neck with my nose.

Not recommended.

things my mom gave me

half sticks of peppermint-flavored Carefree sugarless gum

tablespoon of pure honey for a cough

homemade pancake syrup made from brown sugar and water

in which I record the hilarious musings of a 2-year-old

"I had a bright light all over my body and I was color and they colored me in."

"I have a machine that I pinch with."

An explanation, please

1. for why my pillow smells like cat butt

2. why, if they're supposed to be so damn afraid, possums always stare me down like they're ready to kick my sorry human ass

3. how it can be that it's already 10:30pm and I haven't gotten anything actually done today

Today's Best 5

1. Making micro-mini vegan cupcakes with N so she can take them to "school" tomorrow for her 2nd birthday.

2. Michael Cera as Paulie Bleeker in some movie that's real popular right now. He is heartbreakingly sweet and smart and sincere and (apologies to my husband) I'd follow him anywhere today.

3. The roasted garlicky artichoke with vegannaisey sauce at The Newsroom on Robertson. Heaven with charred blackbrown edges.

4. A capella two-, three- or four-part harmony done really well. The kind that tugs your insides in multiple directions, in a soul satisfying way, not in a stomach virus way.

5. Eating surplus micro-mini vegan cupcakes with N and E the night before her birthday while listening to Rufus Wainwright's "One Man Guy." It's already been two years? It's only been two years? Doesn't seem possible that the world existed pre-N.

Overheard in the house

Husband after (sort of) eating his first raw kumquat: "If starvation were an issue, I don't think I'd rely on the kumquat."

Me (after trying to eat one, too, and spitting it out after 4 seconds): "There is a sweetness that's there, though."

Him: "Yeah, but it's buried under miles and miles of wicked tang."

He's right. Kumquats suck.